It’s hot forks for me if I’m wrong on this one.

It was the Right Reverend Richard Holloway (previously Bishop of Edinburgh) who pointed out, when he was interviewing me last year, that I give Evangelical Christians a rather rough ride (it was not a criticism, incidentally). It’s not something I planned, but it just keeps on happening (Coming Down the Mountain[1] contains a character, Alice, whose father runs the - fictional - Holy Fellowship Church in Northampton and threw their TV into a skip after seeing two men getting married on Channel 4).

I have no problem with Christianity per se. As they say, some of my best friends are Christians. But they all come from the left, liberal, community-oriented, peace and justice wings of the main denominations.

I had a very brief fling with Quakerism myself, some years ago (I don’t think I really understood what it meant to be silent, to truly listen to other people, or to accept them in all their strangeness until I had attended a Quaker meeting). I am still full of admiration for their work and worship. But my lack of belief in God was a hurdle. Plus, there were a few too many beards and corduroy trousers for my liking. And a seriousness which though admirable, sat rather uncomfortably with my need to tell rude and puerile jokes every now and then.

What I find genuinely hard to stomach are people who believe that they have been blessed with knowledge of the absolute truth which has been withheld from most other people on the planet. Arrogance, selfishness and lack of empathy are still arrogance, selfishness and lack of empathy even if they have been sanctioned by divine edict.

On the other hand, strict adherence to a set of beliefs which are contradicted by blindingly obvious evidence - that women are inferior to men, that homosexuals are evil, that fossils were created by God to confuse scientists, that the dead will rise again… - is pretty much the classic template for all comic characters.

(Could anyone come up with as good a story as that of Ted Haggard, leader of the American National Association of Evangelicals who was forced to add ‘sexual immorality’ to his list of confessions after admitting to buying crystal meth for “massage sessions” with a former male prostitute; but was then ‘cured’ of his homosexuality after three weeks of intensive counselling[2]).

Despite the fact that I do not believe in God, I think the world is a richer place for the existence of people who disagree with me (I have never understood why Richard Dawkins is so adamant that people he scorns should share his view of the world; or how his scorn will change their minds). I would just prefer it if they felt the same way about me. As opposed to thinking I will burn in hell.

Actually, ‘not believing’ is the wrong phrase. It’s simpler than that. I have never found a hole in the world that seems the right shape for any God to fit into. I can see that religious belief provides some people with great comfort. I can also see that it provides explanations for deep and abiding mysteries. But I like my mysteries to remain deep and to carry on abiding, only giving themselves up very slowly and piece by tiny piece to hard, scientific struggle.

So, anyway, Pope Benedict XVl and Billy Graham and George Clooney are in this fish and chip shop…

[1]See above.
[2]Avid Simpsons fans will understand why the word Re-Neducation springs to mind. For anyone else, a quick google will clarify.